“Bragging” is better than hiding successes – research

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If something positive happens in your life , feel free to keep the news under wraps — brag about it to a close friend or family member, or risk making them feel devalued when they find out about minor things, say researchers at the University of Michigan.

People often worry that they will be seen as braggarts. According to a new study published in the Journal of Personality, they avoid taking advantage of their close relationships, even if there's a chance their friends will eventually learn the news.

Researchers say withholding information – this is a forecast error. People overestimate how negatively their friend will react to disclosure and expect their friend to react more positively if they learn the news themselves through outside sources.

“They forget to anticipate that partners who later find out about the news … actually feel devalued,” said study co-author Oscar Ybarra, a professor of psychology at Michigan State University.

About 80 participants pretended to be having dinner with a close friend. , who asks how their work is progressing. The answer was given: “the work is going normally.” The next day, on the Facebook timeline, colleagues congratulated the person on the promotion. Study participants then considered how they would feel if they were on the receiving end of a conversation—hearing a general response or hearing a promotion story.

Participants reacted more negatively to the news if their friend who received a promotion gave a general response without being able to capitalize on the opportunity to disclose information.

“A lack of positive self-disclosure can cause close friends to experience a host of negative emotions and feel devalued in the Friendship if they later find out about news”, the researchers wrote. “This feeling of devaluation can be accompanied by an overestimation of how much trust, value, and emotional closeness is felt in the relationship.”