Permanent requirements and suspicions: Psychologist named three signs of “forced control” in relationships

According to him, forced control can be manifested differently in each relationship, so it is difficult to determine. The actions of the abuser can begin from tracking the partner to insist on it to wear specific clothes.Forced control partners isolate their loved ones to make them more dependent, emphasizing that their point of view is the only one you hear. 

At first it may seem that your partner just wants to spend more time with you. He says he misses you when you walk with your friends or insists that certain family members do not care about your interests. But over time, you begin to notice the pattern – every social event becomes a source of conflict, every external relationship is questioned, and you feel guilty for you want to spend time alone, ”Trevers explained.

In addition, according to the expert, you may be blamed for you want to see loved ones, create dramatic situations through which communication has a grueling appearance, or even directly forbidden to maintain certain relationships. 

The goal is to undermine your external support so that you begin to rely solely on their approval, which they can be just as easy to pick up. If you notice that you have stopped communicating with your friends, avoiding families, or feeling anxious about how your partner reacts when you spend time with other people, it can be a sign of forced control, – Trevers warned.

Restricting your freedom of movement

If you always ask your partner's “permission” to go somewhere, it already testifies to the Red Flag. Or if you avoid certain places only to make your partner comfortable, then you should think about your relationship, the psychologist emphasized. 

Control partners can also refuse you to go to work, require constant access to passwords and your phone, or restrict your access to joint transport. If your movements are tracked or controlled, it is a serious alarm. Tell us about this to the person you trust, and if necessary, start considering a safe care plan, ”Trevers advised.

Control of your health and body

A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect, including respect for your autonomy over your own body. However, in forced control relationships, a partner may try to dictate the rules on your health, namely to decide what you eat, what you wear, how much you train, whether you are taking medication, or they can control fertility and pregnancy, the expert explained. 

Initially, their comments may seem care: “I just want you to be/be healthy/healthy” or “You would have a much better look if you were a little lost/thin.” But over time, these “proposals” turn into rules. You may be pressed for you to change your body, refuse access to the necessary medical care, or shame for what you make a choice that relates to your own well -being, – the psychologist emphasized.

In particular, the BBC alarm report for 2022 showed that in more than half of the domestic violence cases that ended in murder, violence began with forced control

This terrible statistics are a powerful reminder that no one – even your partner – has the right to control your body or your autonomy, ”Trevers stressed.

According to the expert, these are not all signs of forced control, but the main thing is to remember, if it seems that something in your relationship is wrong, then it is likely to be. But trust your instincts – if you feel that you are losing your independence, constantly doubt yourself or make a choice of fear, not out of your own will, something is wrong. The good news is that awareness is the first step to restoring your autonomy. No one deserves to feel trapped in their own relationships. If any of these features resonates with you, know that support is always available. To begin with, consult a reliable friend, family member, or mental health specialist who will help you clarify the situation and consider possible options, – the psychologist summed up.