This romantic gesture could indicate that your partner is a narcissist

0

There's something called “future-making.” It's when someone makes promises or describes seemingly plausible plans but never follows through on them.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula says that “future-making” involves promises to change, promises about future events, or desires that the other person wants in a relationship.

The fabricators then state specific deadlines for fulfilling the promise or, alternatively, name an event that must occur as a prerequisite, such as getting a new job. But when the deadline arrives, the promise is not fulfilled.

But how do you distinguish between usually plausible fabrications with similar and even positive and romantic features, such as hope or planning for the future? There is a key difference, and it is especially noticeable in the context of a romantic relationship with a narcissistic person.

While it is normal and even desirable for a normal partner to make plans for a shared future, a narcissistic partner will mostly make conditional promises that require something more from the other person in the relationship.

Inventing the future is one of those traits that can indicate narcissism/Photo Racool_studio@freepik

For example, a narcissistic partner may say that next year you will move to a bigger house, but on the condition that you do not spend money on yourself during this year. Dr. Durvasula (who, by the way, has 1.85 million followers) emphasizes:

Inventing the future is not talking about the future with hope, but simply passing off wishful thinking as reality. Trying to get something out of someone based on a promise.

In many cases, the narcissistic partner doesn’t really want anything specific from the other person, but simply wants them to stay in the relationship. And if that person tries to reach out to the narcissist, their behavior can escalate into gaslighting.

And then they’ll say something like, “If you really loved me, you’d trust me and believe that I would do this.” “All of this can lead to people being stuck for years,” Ramani concludes.