Why you should not be ashamed of your tears: advice from psychologists

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We often feel discomfort, when emotions absorb us so much that they make us cry in front of others. Sometimes, even face to face with ourselves, we feel ashamed of allowing ourselves to “sour” and cry.

Actually, you should not be ashamed of your tears – we will tell you about 6 reasons why indeed.

1. Showing emotions is normal

Very often, we are afraid to show emotions in front of people, because we will cause dissatisfaction or discomfort in others. This is dictated by the norms of society: it is much easier for us to be “comfortable” and keep our feelings to ourselves than to disturb the people around us with a “negative” manifestation.

However, there is no need to be ashamed of your tears, because it is absolutely normal. We smile when we are happy, and we do not feel ashamed about it, although it is also a manifestation of emotions. According to psychologist Antonio Rodellar, a specialist in anxiety disorders, when we do not give way to negative experiences, they intensify, because of which our psyche suffers even more.

And often we simply can't talk to someone about the fact that we need help: it's uncomfortable for us to tear our loved ones away from important matters, we're ashamed to seem weak or talk about problems. Very often, the expression of emotions in the form of tears makes them pay attention to the fact that we are not all right and extend a helping hand when we cannot ask for it.

2. An adult does not mean a person without feelings

When we see that a child has cried, we feel sorry for him and try to support him, hug him, divert him to something else, cheer him up. Unfortunately, adults are treated differently in our society. We must be restrained, calm, prudent. For some reason, crying is perceived as the opposite of these “adult” character traits. Although in reality it is not so.

You should not be ashamed of your tears, because adults can and should cry. We have quite serious reasons for this and sometimes it is easy to experience them in this way. In addition, if we hide our emotions for a long time and do not give them an outlet, the risk of developing an anxiety disorder or depression increases.

3. Tears are a great way to survive negative emotions and live on

Crying reduces the level of stress in the body – not only psychologically. Tears are accompanied by a decrease in the level of manganese, which improves our condition in stressful situations if we cry. Therefore, you should not be ashamed of tears due to moral or physical overstrain.

Also, when we managed to cry, it may be easier for us to make the right decision. After tears, we calm down and can think about their cause more focused, letting go of some of the negative emotions. For example, if we are very angry with someone, and out of resentment we are ready to tell the offender everything that we think about him. Having cried and calmed down, we are ready to conduct a more constructive dialogue or take a time out in communication without saying unpleasant words to him.

4. Tears are a manifestation of sincerity

The sincere feelings we feel can provoke tears. It is normal to cry from a joyful event, for example, when a dream came true. Or because someone's act touched us because it was really important to us. Crying from sadness and stress is an understandable action in itself.

You should not be ashamed if your eyes are wet because you feel sincere emotions – this is one of the indicators of honesty with yourself.

5. Sometimes excessive emotionality or sentimentality is just a character trait

Some people may cry more than others. For example, they are very worried about the heroes of the film, and if his fate is tragic, they can shed a tear. Or sad music can touch them to the core. There are many examples, but one conclusion is that this is their character, and it is absolutely normal. Usually, these are overly sentimental, empathic people – you should not be ashamed of this, because the ability to sincerely empathize with others is not given to everyone. If you are such a hypersensitive person, you should learn these emotional self-help skills.

6. Crying is not weakness

Many people believe that tears are a sign of weakness, that a person does not know how to cope with his problems. This opinion is wrong. To cry is to be weak. This means giving yourself the opportunity to get rid of negativity, to pour out sincere emotions, to allow yourself to experience a difficult situation in order to resolve it in the future.

When we try not to let our feelings out, they stay with us for a long time and traumatize us even more than we do. allowed themselves to “let off steam”. Therefore, the fact that you cry when you are in pain is not shameful at all. And this does not make you weaker – on the contrary, caring for yourself, the ability to help yourself and know how to cope with stress is a sign of a strong personality.