A psychologist named a phrase that parents should never say to a young child

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Proper upbringing of a child is a responsible task, the real importance and complexity of which is not realized by all parents. Often they resort to harmful techniques and destructive models of interaction with the child.

HuffPost quotes licensed child therapist Dina Margolin, who spoke about a typical technique that most parents have resorted to at least once, not realizing its harmfulness. This is a situation when a small child is carried away by games on the playground, on the beach or in another interesting place, and it is already time for you to leave.

In such a situation, parents often make one mistake – they resort to provocation: to a child who still does not play, they say “I'm going. Goodbye!” and really start to walk away. In the end, when the baby notices that the mother or father has already moved a certain distance, he runs headlong to catch up, fearing being abandoned.

This approach works with young children, who are more afraid of being left without their parents’ care and who have not yet learned to read their bluff. And it is on young children that it has the most destructive effect.

As tempting as it may be to turn your back on your child and pretend that you are abandoning them to their fate, the expert recommends against doing so. The strategy “works” because the child actually becomes scared, and therefore it gives the expected reaction: the child reacts and runs to his parents.

When you “send a message” to your child that you can leave him if he disobeys, it can undermine your child’s belief that his parents really value him. This undermines the very foundation of the parent-child relationship.

Experts note that it is important for a child to believe that he can count on his parents for help under any circumstances. By taking this belief away from the child, parents show that their love and care are quite conditional. This, in turn, leads to low self-esteem in the child and forms a behavioral pattern of “obedience for love”, which can become a problem in adult life.