“Cinderella syndrome”: how to return faith in yourself
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Live-was a lone and unhappy girl who waited for not a lot? But this is exactly how many women see it. Although it is not our fault, because we are programmed from birth to believe that everything will be good that we will definitely find our place under the sun and the perfect life companion.
Of course, there is nothing wrong in search of love, as in the desire to meet a related soul. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you believe in such a solution and without it you can not call your life full. But when a man turns to a woman into a sacred graal, and she seems that she is missing something without him, then she adjusts herself to disappointment and at the same time loses her strength. The problem arises at the very moment when a person begins to consider a fairy tale his real life.
If you easily identify yourself with the main character, then you begin to dive into this story, putting yourself in the place of a fairy -tale character, thus creating the image of the one who wants to be and who want to see your life. To become a wonderful princess, Cinderella must first save the prince. That is, only when you meet the man of your dreams, then everything in life will fall into place.
Personal coach Sue TRIBI is convinced that Cinderella syndrome is a kind of way to avoid responsibility for what happens to you: “We say that if they found the perfect partner, they would be happy, but he is not, and therefore we are unhappy. Usually, all of these are subconscious attempts to find a person who would free us from the fear of loneliness or from independence, but, by irony, it acts exactly to the opposite. “
Sue believes that you can only win the syndrome if you get to its reason. She says: “It's like a patch of an open wound. It helps for a while, but over time you need more and more patches until one day you have to impose seams on the wound. ” To do this, answer the following questions as much as possible:
- Do you often dream of the future?Do you not feel like you are constantly missing something? But do not panic, because there are many ways to change the story by making the main character more.
Think of a fairy tale that you associate your life with. For example, if it is Cinderella, imagine that you are sitting in a movie theater and watching this movie on a big screen. You are the main character, and when the crisis comes, just put a movie on a pause. Here's the same moment in your story where you need to solve the problem: something has happened or your heroine has faces a difficult choice, and therefore all subsequent events will be related to the search for a possible solution. And here the plot can turn anywhere. What would be with Cinderella if she did not meet the prince? How would she solve problems with her stepmother and sisters? Keep this picture in your head, mentally losing the movie until it turns into your own version.
>Change the approach to the situation
Another simple example of changing attitude with fairy tales is to regain power over the situation and look at history from a different angle. For example, we assume that getting rid of hard work and turning into a princess requires the emergence of a beautiful prince in life. But what if everything is completely different? Think about it. The prince needs a wife. He also looks for his love, looking for a girl who would fit him perfectly. Perhaps the prince needs a related soul, the second half, and only in this case will these two perfectly complement each other. We already have everything you need, we only need to realize and give ourselves appropriate skills.
If you think that you have been stuck again in old history, use the following tips to express your incredible feminine side:
- repeat: “I am a perfect and holistic personality. I love myself. ” Say it in front of the mirror and with self -confidence, ending the phrase with a dazzling smile!
- Waking up in the morning, first think about the upcoming day and what you want to do. Imagine how incredible success you are.
- go beyond your comfort zone. Do something new. Start with a slight: go to work with another route, talk to a stranger … New things will gradually increase self -esteem and expand your opportunities. Give it magical abilities. In the queue, a whole column of grooms has already been lined up behind your heart, but in the end you decide that you will be better and without them. Therefore, you continue to be a happy ruler of the whole kingdom, who herself is refueling with his destiny!
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