Ecologically and without pain: psychologists told what is important to do during the breakup of a relationship

Breakup is always about pain and experiences that traumatize a person. Emotions that arise during this period can cause harm.

How to calmly end a relationship

Be kind and honest, but not cruel. Explain why you want a divorce. At the same time, you should not analyze the “flaws” of another person. When ending a relationship, we should avoid any blame.

Breaking up in anger usually leads to actions and words that we later regret or blame ourselves for being impulsive. You know each other well, and therefore you also know well how to “hit” each other where it hurts.

Reduce the catastrophizing of the situation. Breaking up is not the end of the world. If you broke up respectfully and you really regret it in a few months, you can try to get back together.

Take care to reduce the vulnerability factors, that is, those that will increase the painful feelings of the breakup. Hunger, fatigue, lack of sleep or a large number of stressors are important levers for influencing our emotional reactions.

What is decisive in breaking up a relationship

A crucial component of breaking up is the actual departure. Leaving the relationship, go. If your partner still wants to be with you, the worst thing you can do is make it seem like it's not a final decision.

Let the person know exactly how gradually you will change or end the relationship. Specify which type of contact would be more acceptable. For example, email only at first, if that makes it easier.

Suggest that you don't communicate for a while, if at all possible. After a breakup, it's important for both of you to have some mental and physical space to work through your thoughts and feelings.

Keep a thought journal about negative thoughts

Psychologists advise identifying cognitive distortions and practicing mindfulness techniques on them. Recognize that thoughts are not facts, but rather mental events that can affect your emotions.

Watch your thoughts like clouds floating by or repeat troubling thoughts out loud in a “caricature” voice.< /p>

Reflect on recurring patterns or dynamics in your relationships with partners and family members. Identify any patterns of reassurance-seeking, fear of abandonment, or tendency to over-compromise.

Do things that bring you pleasure

Participate in activities that bring you joy, even if you I don't want that. Gradually return to hobbies and socializing, as these activities can improve your mood and help you regain a sense of normalcy.

Think about your relationship values ​​and what is most important to you. Focus on qualities such as trust, communication, respect and personal growth. Clarifying your values ​​will guide you toward healthier behavior and relationship choices.

Set Boundaries

Set boundaries in your relationships based on your values. Be open and assertive about your needs and expectations.

Recognize that many factors in life are beyond your control, including the outcome of a breakup. Focus on things you can control, such as your attitudes, behaviors, and choices.