How not to fall for the manipulator's fishing rod

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If you have had the misfortune of being around narcissists – if you are friends with them, come across them at work or are in a relationship – you can sympathize.

These people do not think about anyone but themselves and skillfully manipulate the feelings of others with the help of their favorite technique – projection .

Careful, projection!

Let's figure out what it is and what to do about it.

Who are narcissists?

Narcissism is a state or accentuation of character, in which a person is not able to sincerely empathize and sympathize, and all his emotions, affection and care are directed only to himself. This is due to the fact that the parents were too caring, admired the future narcissist from childhood and indulged him in every possible way. Specialists distinguish two types of such accentuation.

Narcissistic narcissists are those who are confident in their own perfection, significance, talent, and even genius. Such people seem to allow themselves to be taken care of, they show in every possible way that any care or affection is a burden for them. They do a favor to those who love and respect them by allowing themselves to be admired.

The second type is insecure narcissists. They are also convinced of their own high title, but are not confident in their abilities, so they need to constantly feel admiration for their own person.

Narcissist + projection = manipulation

A narcissist will never want to see or hear their flaws. Instead, he will avoid responsibility for them and attribute them to you – project all his negatives onto you.

And with narcissists, this reaches the form of psychological violence. For example, if a man often lies, he will accuse you of lying, if he is untidy or drinks a lot – be prepared for accusations that you are a drunkard and an alcoholic. As a result, you feel guilty and feel sorry for the narcissist. The solution is simple – it should not be done.

A narcissist often uses projection, attributing their negative feelings to you. The narcissist tries hard to look like a “good guy” and make you out to be a spoiled child.

With the help of projection, the narcissist manipulates you, forcing you to act in a way that is beneficial to him.

How to protect yourself from this?

The most favorable strategy in communicating with such a person is to keep your distance. Narcissists are true predators who are ready to tear apart anyone who stands in their way.

Responding to attacks with aggression seems to be the first and most natural reaction, but you may be shocked by the strength of their response. They will hit you in the most vulnerable places, no matter what.

To stand up to such a person, you need to be a really strong person with an unshakable belief in your worth. Otherwise, you should draw a clear line in communication with such people. Defense in this case is wiser than attack.

Ignore the words and tricks of the narcissist. Don't give him what he wants. And look for the strength to end toxic relationships.