How to understand that you are “lonely” in marriage: the psychologist named four main signs

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Some people can eventually perceive their marriage as a prison that they themselves created themselves. Most of the time, their partners are unaware of their feelings until it is too late. Although marriage should be enjoyable for both partners, there are still people who feel trapped and confused.

Therefore, American psychologist Mark Travers, Ph.D., named 4 signs for Forbes that will help you understand that you feel lonely in your marriage. 

Not Feeling Heard

According to an expert, a study from a 2023 article shows that couples who can truly listen to each other have happier marriages. If you ignore your partner's simple requests, it can make them feel that they are not being heard. 

“It's not just about one person getting what he wants, it's about active, open communication. The article emphasizes the importance of the other person feeling heard and cared for in a marriage. Make sure you take the time to listen to what your partner is saying, even if the request is tiny – that small gesture can make a big difference in your relationship,” advises Travers.

Only one of the partners decides everything for two

A 2018 study says that domineering behavior of spouses is one of the main reasons why they divorce. According to the psychologist, if it is good for you only when you dictate your terms, then this can lead to the fact that your partner will take offense at you. 

“Feelings of depression can arise in people who feel that they are constantly giving in to what their partner wants. If your partner feels that his plans are always being sacrificed for what you want, this can cause conflict in the marriage. It may sound trite, but compromise is key in marriage. Maybe you both won't get what you want, but you can always find a healthy middle ground,” emphasized the doctor of philosophy.

You make sacrifices

Studies have shown that single women, who do not have children are among the happiest in society and, according to Travers, there may be significant reasons for this. He continued that according to traditional institutions, a woman must give up her career, social status and her ambitions to run a household once she marries. 

“Women are expected more than men to embrace their new status as homemakers, abandoning all previous dreams – while supporting their husbands' ambitions. Moreover, they are considered selfish if they dare to want something more than a marital home,” the psychologist added.

You make all the financial decisions

An expert noted that a 2023 study found that 40% of marital disputes are about finances. According to him, if you and your partner have different views on how to spend the joint budget, this can become a source of conflict. 

“The situation worsens in relationships where the opinion of only one partner is taken into account, since he is the breadwinner. If your partner doesn't have a say in how the money is split, he or she may feel disenfranchised. Make sure that conversations about money are open and honest, and when it comes to finances, compromises need to be made so that everyone gets what they need,” concluded Dr. Travers.