Lying for the good: can it be justified and in what cases

0

We heard from our parents in early childhood that it is not good to lie. And then these words were not questioned. They seemed like a postulate that did not require explanation.

But as a person grows older, he realizes that the world is a much more complex structure than it seems at first glance. And even such a dignity as honesty will not always be appropriate and correctly applied. After all, the truth in some cases can cause even more damage. And we dare to cheat in order to avoid unpleasant consequences for ourselves or for others. To justify the deception, we convince ourselves that it is false for good.

But is there really a saving lie? Or is the bitter truth better in any case?

What is meant by deception and truth?

It would seem that the answer to this question is obvious, if we do not delve into the subtleties of human relationships. For some, even a small embellishment of true events seems to be a lie, while others do not attach such a significant importance to it. The same applies to silence, when the truth is simply not voiced for good reasons. In this regard, each person must develop his own position: what is permissible and what is not. And it is advisable to tell about it to those around you, so that your attitude to honesty is clear to everyone.

Is it possible to be honest always and everywhere?

It is worth disclaiming right away: absolutely honest people who tell the truth everywhere and always do not exist. True, there are people who strive for such an ideal, but their life is more difficult than for those who are not principled defenders of the truth. In some cases, sincerity is not so important and can lead to unpleasant consequences. Even if we talk about such a banal thing as being late for work. You have a much better chance of being understood by your superiors if you tell them that you were late for a good reason than if you honestly admit that you just wanted to lie in bed for an extra half hour. The fact of being late will not cancel it, but you will save yourself from unpleasant moments of communication with the boss.

In any case, we lie because we are afraid< /p>

Fear is almost the main motivation that gives birth to lies for good. We come up with an easily digestible and safe version of the development of events, fearing to lose our own authority, trust and love of loved ones, as well as to avoid punishment. The latter often motivates children to lie. For example, they are afraid of the anger of their parents for getting a double at school. Can this serve as an excuse for lying? For some it is, while others believe that lying out of fear is a sign of cowardice.

Are compliments also lies?

The very rules of etiquette attribute to us some lying in communication with others. The best example of this is compliments. It is customary to speak them when meeting in certain circumstances. And if you don't like how a person looks and what he does, you should keep quiet about it so as not to create tension in the relationship. In this case, an opinion spoken from the heart can be considered an insult. However, compliments are not only a mandatory component of business communication. They can be sincere and very pleasant when said, for example, by a loved one. In this case, it makes no sense to lie to her about the fact that you are well dressed or have a nice hairstyle.

When is lying for the good justified?

First of all, this applies to young children, if we are talking about some traumatic events, for example, the death of a pet or a relative. The kid is already confused, not understanding what happened. He will receive even greater psychological trauma if you tell him everything as it is. Another feature of children's thinking and psyche is that until a certain age, children simply do not understand what death is, and may even begin to blame themselves for the “disappearance” of someone dear to them. Therefore, it will be much better to come up with a milder version and tell the child in such a way that he can understand it.