Nine steps to let go of the past

0

Have you ever been “stuck” in a situation? Rewinding events over and over again, down to the smallest details, reliving the feelings that were there at that moment. “It’s been N years (months or days) and I still can’t forget how I “screwed up” back then — sounds familiar?

You spend a huge amount of precious life energy on relationships and situations that have already passed. You’re stuck in the past.

Every time you replay an event in your head or remember a failed romance, you waste the energy needed to feel good, look good, maintain relationships, or support your family, business, or creativity.

You live there, in your past or imaginary future. Who lives instead of you here and now? The lifeless ghost of what haunts you?

The connection with an event or person can be both on an emotional level and on a physical or mental level. It doesn’t matter what level, or maybe it’s not just one, and all of them are blocked at once. The bottom line is the same: if there is a connection, you lose energy and vitality, you are unable to move forward, build a happy future.

Do you want to let it go so that new positive impulses, relationships, opportunities and strengths come into your life? Then write down ten steps that will help you let go. Believe me, if it is truly yours, it will definitely return, but in a better quality and in the best embodiment.

Nine steps that will help you let go of the past

Step one.Find the courage to let go. We get used to living with these feelings, living in a state of victimhood, being unhappy. Being unhappy is always easier than being happy. Write in a notebook or on a piece of paper: “I am brave enough to let go of the situation (person) and move on to a new, happy life.” Your firm and sincere decision is half the battle, the processes have been launched at the subconscious level and transformations have already begun, even if you don’t understand or feel it yet.

Step two.Let out your emotions. We often say that uncried and unlived emotions are the surest way to a therapist. Any purification begins with experiencing emotions. Decide how, when, and for how long you will allow yourself to mourn this event or express anger about it. Have you decided? Then do it honestly: cry from the bottom of your heart for exactly as long as you have determined. Take a pillow and beat it with anger and hatred. Only honestly, no less, but exactly as long as you have decided. It can be 15 minutes or an hour, it all depends on your decision.

Step three. Switch your attention to a new activity: sign up for courses, go on a trip, play sports, go to the theater or cinema, have dinner with friends. The main thing is to start living here and now. Start writing down the five most vivid and positive moments at the end of the day.

Step Four. Close your eyes. Remember your story. Associate yourself with it as if you were there again. Now, as it were, push the picture aside, imagine a TV in front of you, in which what happened to you is happening, imagine how you are watching a movie about yourself and everyone who is there. Try to add colors to this movie. You may want to draw a new frame or “horns” for the interlocutor. You will notice that the situation no longer affects you so much – it is just a movie. Turn off the TV and go into your new life.

Step Five.Write a letter to your abuser, blaming him for what happened. Don't be shy about your words, you won't send it to the address. Did you write it? Then burn it with the firm intention of never going back to it again. Now go to your new happy life.

Step Six.Write another letter. In it, express gratitude to the person or situation and the conclusions you have drawn from what happened. Remember that this letter should consist only of positively colored expressions. Without using the participle “no”, in the present tense. For example, “I am grateful that I learned to be kinder.” You can keep this letter and even reread it sometimes, and maybe after a while you will add some thanks or lessons.

Step seven. Whenever a story from the past comes up in your memory, find a place in the body where it lives. Try to feel with your body what kind of shape it is (color, size, texture), consider it carefully, and then make ten sharp exhalations to the left side, as if exhaling it from your body.

Step eight . Remove from prominent places things that remind you of an event or a person, at least for a while, until you finally understand that you no longer return to unpleasant thoughts and memories.

Step Nine. Take care of your self-esteem. Often it is impossible to let go of the situation for only one reason – self-doubt. “I can't do without him”, “I'm not worthy of better”, “I'm not like everyone else”, “I'm worse than others” – if you are visited by such thoughts, engage in self-evaluation.