Not everyone knows about these reasons for failure: a psychologist revealed why many people are unlucky in love

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Finding a partner with whom we are ready to spend our whole life is not so easy for millions of people who often look for the reasons for failure in the wrong place , psychologists believe. In an attempt to change the situation, they, together with scientists, studied this phenomenon and compiled a list of the main problems and methods of solving them.

Finding love can be difficult, even if we make every effort to build relationships with other people. It's easy to blame external factors, such as time or the lack of the right person, but in reality, obstacles can be internal and important to understanding and changing the situation, Forbes writes.

Recognizing personal barriers is critical to building relationships, which we long for, says psychologist Mark Travers. One of the serious problems that can stand in the way of a relationship is the presence of unrealistic standards. While maintaining certain expectations is helpful, when these standards become unreasonable, they can become a hindrance.

Often this is due to the need for self-protection or an inflated sense of self-worth, when the search for a partner becomes a concern for self-love rather than a real connection. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that excessive idealization can impair relationships by creating unrealistic expectations, which ultimately lead to dissatisfaction in potential partners, Travers says.

Another serious obstacle on the way to love is the presence of self-destructive beliefs. They can manifest in the form of feelings of unworthiness, fear of heartbreak, or the belief that the relationship is doomed to failure. Such beliefs are often rooted in past experiences or societal attitudes and can lead to behavior that repels love. For example, the fear of heartbreak can cause a person to sabotage relationships before they have a chance to become more serious.

Research has shown that early negative experiences can affect relationship skills later in life, contributing to these self-destructive patterns, explains Travers. Solving these problems involves introspection and revising the narrative you've built around the relationship. By questioning the validity of these beliefs and changing them, we will be able to discover healthier and more fulfilling relationships, the psychologist believes. By letting go of perfectionism and self-sabotage, you can pave the way to a relationship based on trust, respect, and true love.