Sexologists have allowed sometimes to hate their partner

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People often worry about feeling negative emotions towards their partner, says clinical sexologist Ness Cooper. She allowed herself to sometimes hate her lover and explained when these feelings are normal.

Thus, according to the specialist, an outburst of hatred towards a partner often indicates that a person's cup of patience has overflowed, and the nervous system has been given a “fight or flight” signal. “The partner does not necessarily need to do something that can be a trigger for you. He can simply fall under the hot hand when you are on the verge of a breakdown or just going through the exit from the comfort zone,” explained the sexologist in an interview with the Metro publication and recommended learning to express negative feelings correctly.

Psychotherapist and specialist in the field of relationships Kathy Press, in turn, added that sometimes the thought “I hate you” can be a reason to work on relationships. In addition, you can simultaneously love a person, but at the same time hate some of his habits.

“In a new relationship, you can keep hope that the partner will change. But in a relationship that has already started, you can only get used to his behavior,” said the psychotherapist and drew attention to the fact that it is better to put up with these hateful habits if there is a goal to preserve the relationship for a long time.

Cooper noted , that sometimes hatred manifests itself at that stage of the relationship, when partners learn to be individuals again, only as a couple. “You see that your partner is a person,” said the expert. – And if you don't like her behavior, you should analyze whether it affects your relationship in any way or not, whether the relationship is worth putting up with the partner's manifestations.

The press believes that there are cases when hatred can talk about destructive processes. “If hatred builds up slowly, turning into constant disgust, and also increases with each conflict and does not go anywhere, this is a sign that there is a problem in the relationship,” she warned.