The 4-Second Rule: How It Can Build Trust and Gain Respect

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Many psychological techniques help change the interlocutor's opinion of themselves. Yes, the four-second rule can increase trust and gain respect. We will tell you what this rule is and how to use it later.

What is the essence of the 4-second rule?

We've all heard it at one time or another:

• “Think twice before you speak.”
• “Measure seven times, cut once.”
• “Think first, speak later.”
• “Count to 7 before you answer.”

All these proverbs, statements and axioms can be reduced to one thing: you should not give an instant answer. Wait four seconds – this time will be enough for the interlocutor to feel your awareness and involvement. Such a minor change in the manner of conversation will qualitatively change your life. Here's how it works.

You will stop interrupting others

By intervening in a conversation and interrupting the interlocutor, we first of all show disrespect. In this way, we hint at an uninteresting topic. On the contrary, when we delay answering, we show the interlocutor that we care about his opinion, we show respect and receive respect in return.

You will become more focused

During business negotiations, Michael Masterson's approach is relevant, described by him in the book “Shooting Without Aiming.” According to him, people speak without thinking, the first thing that comes to mind. Thus, they blurt out unnecessary information.

But in fact, every conversation should have a specific goal: during negotiations, you must get from point “A” to point “B.” Otherwise, why start this conversation? By delaying the answer, you not only choose the right words, but also weigh the value of the information that you give to the interlocutor.

You will begin to express your thoughts more clearly. Negotiations in the rhythm of “what I see, I sing” are filled not only with personal information, but also with a large number of parasitic words. They give time to think about the next phrase, but they sound unconvincing. The interlocutor may think that you are making up excuses or completely deceiving him. When you think before answering silently, you have time to formulate your opinion clearly and clearly. You will seem smarter. It is difficult to gain respect when you talk non-stop, filling the space with meaningless conversations. If you talk little, but to the point, thinking about the answer, you will be considered thoughtful, and your words will be listened to. The four-second rule works not only during business negotiations, but also in relationships with loved ones. By thinking and weighing your words every time, you show love and respect, and you also eliminate the possibility of using offensive constructions, which is very important in any relationship.