The habits of parents that will force adult children to delete them from their lives are named

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Parents often do not think that their behavior affects future relationships with their children.

Criticize their choices

Criticize their choices

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Adult children have the right to their own lives, even if you don't always agree with their decisions. Due to constant disapproval, criticism, comparison with other people, trust is undermined. Children begin to share less details from their lives, avoid conversations so as not to hear judgments.

There are not enough boundaries

It is very important for adult children to provide boundaries so that they can build their own lives. Don't drop in on them unannounced, reveal details about your life that they shouldn't know, call incessantly, etc. Even if your intentions are only good, such a lack of boundaries will lead to anxiety, resentment and can only make things worse.

Refusal to acknowledge feelings

Psychologists refer to this point as phrases such as “you are too sensitive “, “get over it in yourself” etc. Learn to listen and acknowledge feelings, even if you don't understand them at the moment. This way you can create a stronger bond with your children.

Expecting that children will solve all your problems

Of course, it's natural for children to often help their parents, but you shouldn't rely on them for constant emotional support or expect them to solve all your problems. Constant negative stories about your life will make them feel like therapists instead of children.

Never apologize even if you are wrong

Remember , that parents can also make mistakes, because we are all human. If you refuse to admit your guilt, it means that you put your ego before your relationship with your children. Then trust is undermined, and the child may also think that he should not take responsibility either.

Make children feel guilty

Guilt is a powerful manipulation. You should not say phrases like “after everything I've done for you”, because this role of the victim eventually leads to resentment. It is very important that even adult children feel that they can make their own choices freely, without feeling guilty.

Giving unsolicited advice

Sometimes children just need to talk, and not hear from you another step-by-step instruction on what to do. If you constantly offer “unsolicited” advice, trying to solve children's problems, they will feel that you do not believe them. And they'll feel like they don't know how to manage their own lives.

Emotionally or physically abusive

Abuse is never acceptable. Adult children have the right to distance themselves from parents who continue to harm them in any way (physical or emotional). Abuse can take many forms and no one can stay in such an environment for very long.

There are favorites among children

Treating one child more favorably than others creates resentment and rivalry that can often last a lifetime. Often, adult children pick up on even minor differences in their parents' attitudes, which can seriously damage family relationships.

Talking badly about your partner or spouse

If their partner isn't actually manipulating or abusing them, then any criticism will put your child on the defensive and hurt your relationship with them. Even if you don't like the partner, you should respect your child's choice.

You make everything about yourself

Constantly interrupt children, turn the conversation in your direction, interrupt to talk about yourself or look at viewing their accomplishments through the lens of how they reflect on you is a path to disengagement. Show genuine interest in their lives.

Make promises and don't keep them

Breaking promises, neglecting plans, even small mistakes always destroy trust over time. If you continue to show children that you can't be trusted, they will simply stop trusting you and won't ask for advice.

Don't respect their time or commitment

Adult children may be busy with their career, personal life, family, and therefore should not drop everything for you. Always treat their plans with respect, because their time is just as important as yours.

Comparison with other people

Adult children should not be compared with brothers, sisters, neighbors, friends or acquaintances. This creates a feeling of inadequacy and undermines their self. Focus on their strengths and appreciate them.

Constantly reminding them of their mistakes

Everyone, without exception, can make mistakes. If you constantly remind them of their failures, it shows that you don't want them to change and grow. Especially when the child has apologized and started working to make amends.

Refusal to accept the child as he is

Whether it is about lifestyle, sexual orientation, punishment path, etc., trying to force an adult child to conform to your expectations will create a painful rift. Unconditional parental love means accepting and supporting children as they are.

Holding anger or resentment

Unresolved conflict or bitterness poisons relationships. Don't dwell on past hurts, because this interferes with healing and can lead to the fact that the adult child becomes completely distant.