The main needs that we look for in relationships with loved ones are named

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Needs we all seek to satisfy in relationships are the need for belonging, control, and attention.

You can express your disagreement. Why? Very simply, you will say that you belong to the group of people who do not want control or attention. You may even begin to protest that you have no need to feel connected to anything. A completely expected reaction… if a person has experienced something bad in the past.

Negative experiences affect a person's perception of the basic needs listed above. But this does not mean that neither you nor your partner deep down does not want to satisfy these needs.

And it is not at all about the fact that there are no other needs. We understand very well that this is not the case. The need for security, a roof over the head, food – they are all very important, but the above-mentioned needs are fundamental, because they determine the qualitative and quantitative side of any relationship.

Understanding how exactly unmet needs turn into unwanted ones. behavior will help you better understand your partner.

So, are you meeting these needs of your partner?

The need to belong

It is about the desire to belong, participate and be accepted. Some people need it more than others. Depending on the satisfaction of this need, their self-esteem either increases or decreases. If there is no sense of belonging, they feel like there is something wrong with them, so they will do anything to fix it.

If this need is not satisfied, they not only begin to look for a reason within themselves, but may also begin to withdraw from other people, turning into hermits. They conclude that they do not need anyone, and therefore try to live in complete isolation. If left unchecked, these reactions can lead to mental and emotional instability.

In addition, due to a strong desire to feel included, a person may try to draw attention to himself through inappropriate actions and manipulation. If your partner's behavior is as described, ask yourself what you can do for him to make him feel important.

Need for control

This need is associated with feelings of competence, self-confidence and freedom to make decisions independently. Its presence is easy to notice if a person desperately tries to be a “leader”.

In relationships, she should always have the last word, and in work she is ready for anything to get the desired position. And if everything goes too far, such a person will not stop even before the war.

On the other hand, a person may not have such a pronounced desire for control, but at the same time he seeks to spoil what someone has already done. And this is also a kind of control method. For example, in a married couple, the wife may use physical intimacy for the purpose of control, and the husband may use money. Or vice versa.

Regardless of who uses which weapon, the root of the problem is always the need for control. What role does your partner play in the relationship? Ask yourself if important decisions are made together.

The need for attention

This need shows a person's desire to be liked by others. Those in whom it is pronounced (but not all people are so), are looking for close relationships and affection from others. For such personalities, it is very important to be liked by others.

When the need for attention remains unsatisfied, people become uncomfortable in society. As with involvement, they simply drift away. But if you ask them about the reasons for such behavior, you are unlikely to hear an honest answer.

On the other hand, someone who has this need is very strongly expressed, may also resort to inappropriate behavior. This person can become too talkative, frank and self-confident. This approach is used to “buy” attention.

Do you find time to just call your loved one and tell them how much you love or appreciate them? Ask yourself if the reason for the withdrawal of the other half is not a lack of attention on your part?