Warning signs: what to do if you feel a lack of support in the relationship

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The ideal relationship should be a source of strength that strengthens your self-confidence and gives you energy. But often the relationship is another battlefield, where the partner at worst always criticizes you, at best – does not participate in your life at all.

How to achieve the support of a loved one in a relationship and is it worth doing?

Ask yourself if you should demand the support of a loved one in everything

Before you sit down and express your complaints to the guy, try to assess how justified they are.

It all depends on what exactly you mean by support in a relationship. Do you want your loved one to have a positive attitude towards your dreams; showed care in difficult days for you; took your side more often than pointing out flaws is a perfectly fair expectation. When entering a relationship, you hope that the young person will complement you intellectually, emotionally and physically. To believe in you, to be proud of your achievements, to strengthen self-esteem, not to destroy it.

But wanting to be supported and demanding that they agree with you in everything are different things. A loved one can have his own point of view and has the right to communicate it. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that you have different views on things. Expecting a loved one to satisfy all your emotional needs is a manifestation of love parasitism. Also, it's hard to stay honest with someone if you're only looking for approval.

How to talk to him about how you feel

The rule for any unpleasant conversation is to be positive. It is quite likely that your loved one did not even know that he was offending you and did it unconsciously.

Focus on how you want your partner to behave, not on the mistakes they are making now. Start with accusations, he will shut down, get into a defensive position, and dialogue will not work. Try not to speak in general phrases, but to explain with specific examples. Remember the recent situations in which you needed his support and describe how you felt at that moment.

Don't say in terms of “you should”, rather tell why it is important to feel his support and opinion.

Also, ask if he feels he can rely on you in a difficult situation. It is possible that the guy also does not see you as an ally, so he is in no hurry to show understanding. If it's mutual, maybe your relationship lacks emotional intimacy and you need to work on it.

What to do if there is no support after all these conversations

If you have a friendly constructive dialogue, most likely, your loved one will try to fix the situation. But, when this does not happen, you should analyze your relationship with him in more detail.

Think about how important this man's support and approval is to you. Can you spend your life with such a person? Are you ready to compensate for the lack of emotions by communicating with family and friends, and is it worth it – why do you need a relationship in which you are lonely.