What to do if it turns out that your loved one has cheated: advice from a psychologist

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The shocking news that your partner has cheated on you can make you act impulsively. If things are really bad, it's best to leave the room and give yourself some time to breathe. Find a safe place and give yourself a break, sit down and don't move for a while. Choose a safe place, because the adrenaline rush that hits you in the first few minutes can lead to rash decisions.

If a “well-wisher” informed you about the betrayal, try not to take it personally. You need to find out in detail where your beloved was seen, with whom, and so on. Specify the date, time, and the presence of special wardrobe items. It often turns out that the person who provided the information simply made a mistake, and the other half of the “deceived victim” is already under suspicion and the relationship begins to deteriorate. Check everything you hear or learn. And if you saw your loved one in the company of another person with your own eyes, ask him who it was. After all, if he left work for coffee with a colleague, there is no reason to think about betrayal.

Ask correctly

A correctly posed question generates a natural reaction from a man. Do not attack, during a normal conversation at home, clarify that you saw him in a certain place in the company of a girl. And watch the first reaction. An innocent person will not make excuses, but will tell who it was and where they were going. Those who really cheat begin to lie and evade. Say what you thought, or begin to accuse, swear. Your task is to remain calm if the relationship is expensive and there is no desire to destroy everything.

How to react?

If the betrayal still happened and there is an intention to save the relationship, the first rule: this desire must be mutual. That is why the first reaction to what happened is so important. Quarrels, accusations and threats are not a method for peacefully resolving the issue. If you are able to sincerely forgive the mistakes of your spouse, and he is really ready to work on himself, you need to get out of this situation correctly. What do you need to do for this?

Don't think about it

Don't dwell on how it happened. Pictures in your head can drive you crazy, because it's impossible to imagine your loved one in the arms of another woman and remain indifferent. Give vent to your emotions, but not against the perpetrator. Visit attractions or another place where you can scream. A forest is perfect. This is necessary so that the negativity comes out and does not turn into a neurological or psychosomatic disease. This must be practiced periodically so that the energy does not stagnate and finds a way out.

Don't blame yourself

Otherwise, self-esteem can collapse and this will have a bad effect on life. Don't nag your loved one, constant reminders can make the relationship even worse than the betrayal itself.

Get distracted from suspicions

If the betrayal is not revealed, but there are suspicions, do not think about it. Find an exciting activity, take time for yourself. Sooner or later the truth will be revealed anyway, if you are attentive to the details. But if you want to save the relationship, you will have to work on its psychological component.

Take care of yourself

The most pleasant pastime that has a positive effect on women is taking care of yourself. For relationships, this will also become a healing plaster. External changes will help you survive the betrayal, feel beautiful, look different in the eyes of your loved one.

It is important that your desire to return love and peace to the relationship is mutual.

Conclusion

Understand and feel for yourself whether you can really forgive the betrayal or not. If the answer to this question is negative, then it is better to break up, because otherwise you will eat yourself and your loved one psychologically. Verify all the facts reliably, preferably documented, with confirmation. Perhaps the man was faithful and there is really no reason for suspicion. And if a decision was made to understand and forgive – do it sincerely, do not recall, and try to resolve the conflict.