Why do people constantly lie to each other and what lies do we hear most often?

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On average, an adult lies from one to two times a day. That is, we deceive ourselves and others almost every day – and we are even used to it. Why does this happen and what does the lie we hear most often sound like?

“I'll be there in 5 minutes” (actually still at home)

Time management, discipline, respect for your time and the time of others. We all know about these things and even respect them very much, but even the most punctual of us sometimes end up late. What can we say about those who are constantly late: everyone has at least one friend who consistently arrives 15-20, or even more minutes later than the appointed time. There are even absolutely cosmic people who allow themselves to be late for an hour or simply “fall asleep” before your meeting. Often, in such cases, nothing helps: neither threats, nor fines, nor warning calls, because this is an exclusively individual problem. It sounds like this: a person who is late most likely does not know how to manage his time well. That's why she's late: she doesn't want to admit the problem (that she has a problem at all) and postpones the meeting to a more real time.

State of affairs (“Everything is fine”)

Public opinion is such a strong and unpredictable thing (as we think) that a little bit of everyday lying (as we think, again) won't hurt anyone. You meet a classmate, an ex. They ask: “So, how are you? What's new, interesting?” And you, let's say, are in debt, unemployed, and also sick from stress. And you think: why should I tell the truth? Who needs it, how will this person help, and why burden them with problems at all, as if they don't have any of their own? And you say: “Everything is fine, just great,” and then you weave some colorful lie.

The logic is to “not burden others,” but in the end it turns out that we all suffer alone, instead of helping each other or at least reassuring with a word. So, you don’t need to lie about the real state of affairs: tell the truth, but master the art of “appropriateness.” If it is appropriate to tell a person everything — even if you haven’t seen them for years — and you feel that they will understand, then so be it. You can’t know where help or comfort will come from.

“The phone died, broke, sat down”

A typical situation: two friends suggest meeting separately from each other. Even today, when all your plans after work are to go to the supermarket and then watch TV shows until late. The best way to avoid responsibility and the need to choose: turn off your phone, and in the morning lie to both of them about “the mobile phone, which has been behaving like HAL-9000 from “A Space Odyssey” lately, has a life of its own, sorry!”.

“I don't watch TV! I haven't had one for 10 years!”

And beat yourself up for drama. It's very strange to see criticism and negative assessments of “television” and any other mass culture from people who actually watch the screen even more than before. Netflix – what is it, if not a new TV? Series on pirate sites? Clips of talk shows on Youtube? In general, these endless trips to YouTube call into question the idea that choosing content is a luxury. If you disagree, just look at your viewing history. It's unlikely that there are only scientific programs, symphonic music concerts and other useful content. “There is therefore no need to separate yourself from others. We are all the same and we all watch TV – it's normal.

“I really liked it!” (about a film that we haven't seen)

Everyone is discussing a movie that has just been released, but you are not in the mood? To keep the conversation going, you also praise and secretly strain yourself, like in school, so as not to be called to the board to answer and not ask questions about the plot. Of course, there is a whole “Art of Talking About Books You Haven't Read” and it can be interesting. But we are back to the overestimated importance of public opinion. Is it scary that you are a little behind the trend? On the contrary, it is great! You can watch the movie later and definitely find something of your own in it, unnoticed by the collective eye.

“Completely out of my head”

Let's say you were asked to do some little thing at work – and you know that, most likely, they will forget about it (because there are many urgent matters, everyone is busy) and no one will check it. Therefore, you simply do not do it. But in rare cases, when you are still reminded of this little thing, you pretend to have a sudden attack of amnesia: “Oh, what is it me! I even attached a sticker to the monitor and made a reminder on my phone! It completely flew out of my head…”

“But I'm just kidding”

There are a lot of such anecdotal situations on the outside and bitter on the inside. “I love you!” – “Are you kidding? We're friends” – “Well, it's just a joke, what are you, you should see your own face!” You can say something and then sort of “undo” it by adding “don't pay attention, I'm joking.” And this is a very serious problem, which, unfortunately, is drowning in the ocean of Internet irony and the modern fashion for empty words.

“Yes, I will definitely watch/read/do it, thank you.”

No one ever watches or reads books that others recommend. All exceptions to this rule only confirm it. Science still does not know whether this is a manifestation of childish selfishness (“I watch/read only what I want”) or an elementary instinct of self-preservation (imagine what our consciousness would turn into if we followed all the recommendations and life hacks).

“I can afford it”

A seductive and dangerous lie that we tell almost every day. It sounds especially loud when we buy plane tickets or a new item of clothing, another expensive thing — and we know for sure that we cannot afford it now (it would be better to treat our teeth or postpone it). But why were loans invented? We prefer to live the dream life already today, without making any effort to change anything. Reality? Let him wait, today we are going to the shopping center to rest.

“Let's go one more – and that's it”

Well, are you aware “One at a time” means at least three, or even all four. This is a boring biological phenomenon known to every person on planet Earth: in a state of alcohol intoxication, our body dulls its stop mechanisms, besides, dehydration has been happening inside for a long time – it dries us out. But instead of drinking a few glasses of water and stopping there, we continue to drink alcohol – suddenly a miracle will happen? Or we just don't want to interrupt the feeling of “holiday”, which in the morning is replaced by a severe hangover and a feeling of guilt.